Christmas Rush

It came and went. Quietest Christmas I've had in a long, long time. I think Alex had a quiet one as well. Rather sad for all of us, I would think.

I hope the New Year brings happiness to us all.

My Son's New Show-and-Tell

A few days ago, Boy took his little fire hydrant, a toy from his firetruck, and pretended it was a lighter. he went around "lighting" imaginary cigarettes, making the strike sounds and everything. Today I watched him put a pencil in his mouth and take a nice, long, drag from it, holding it just like a cigarette.

I hope his mother is proud.

Well, It's All Over

All but the crying, anyway. I felt this calm take over yesterday after the last final, but now it's back to stressing out over finding a job. The idea of plain, dumb work sounds so good right now, I can't even imagine not having to read chapters every night and trying to decipher what they mean.

Very Quiet: Too Quiet, In Fact

Johann Agustus Sutter

Although an empty house is great for getting my work done, it's also pretty sad. I miss kid's voices and action. I miss having someone to love.

BTW, I'm writing about an old friend, John A. Sutter. The more I read of his exploits, the more I appreciate him as a flawed but basically honest, God-fearing man. We could use a few more of these characters in today's world.

I *Guess* This is Right...

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Second Presentation Finished

A little smoother than the first, only because I used my PC for it. Scaling the sizes of the images to the projector resolution was fun to do at the last minute, but, hey, it's done! Hard to tell how I compared to the rest of my class, but my notated script was promising. Still have some work to do for the final paper, plus start TWO others due next week. One more final on Thursday.

I'm so ready for this to be over...

www.cdarchives.net/venice

First Presentation Done

Relieved, but embarrassed. We were going to use my laptop as the presentation device, but for the sake of time switched to the school Mac. Big mistake. The resolution was off, and the pages were way too large for the screen. Oops.

Subject matter was good, though, so maybe things will work out in the end. Two more presentations to go, plus two term papers, plus two finals. I will be so very happy to see school out for the semester. I hope I can finish the year and survive.

www.cdarchives.net/art316

Things Are Happening

I can just feel it. Something is up, my antennae are twitching, but I can't find the source. It feels kind of cool, though, so something not bad.

Finishing some papers, starting some others, and hoping to glide out of this semester with a shred of dignity still attached. What a rough mofo...

To the Stretch

Reading Sir Thomas More's "Utopia" as part of a comparison reading/writing assignment. The cats and I have had an uneventful weekend - it started raining hard about an hour ago, so we're just warming up inside. The coming week is going to be a killer interms of school.

Looking forward to the kids getting back soon!

My life sure is boring...

Chugging Along

This paper is taking forever to research. I'm just finishing up with the images, much less putting them online and typing my presentation.

Today I registered for next semester - my last! I may take more classes next year for a second major, but for now I'll be happy to be free to work.

Alone

The kids are with family, and I'm alone but for the cats and a room full of rats. Thanksgiving for the past 15 years has been a remembrance of a tragic event, one that I need not go into here. This year will be so much different than the last - a home full of happy voices and family - that it is good I have so much work to do to keep me occupied.

I Think the Kitten is Going To Stay Small

Her mother is a tiny cat, I think half Siamese. The kitten shows every indication that she, too will stay small. She sure is feisty, though - courage of a little lion. I don't think she will have much trouble survivng around here.

It's going to be just Boy and I this week. My daughter is going south to be with relatives, and I've got a couple of papers to write, still. The ideas are there, but the execution is still developing. I hope I can work with Boy here.

Trying to Study While Watching Boy

It's virtually impossible. I will sure be happy when Melanie is back in business

He's been eating and watching movies. What he really needs is to go outside, but it's getting pretty cold and looks like rain, so he's running around inside like a little bat. I'm thinking he's going to be ready for a nap any minute.

Fast-forward 4 hours.

He just went down for his nap. Now maybe I can actually get some things done. I miss having childcare...

What Is A Person's Value?

What is it that makes a person whole? I think about this a lot when with my kids. There have been times when I've been less than 100% for my daughter, and, realizing that, I'm making restitution with the time I spend with her. She's at an age where she's reacting to every outside influence, and wants to get feedback on everything, which I do my best to give. Boy just wants to play and be loved, so he's easy.

It's been difficult providing for them while I've been in school, and I've had a lot of missteps. I've had help from my family, my ex and I both worked, and now the ventures I've enacted are starting to pay off. Hopefully we will be at least semi-comfortable by the time I graduate. The last ten years financially have been a bust - with further education and change in lifestyle, I am looking for the next ten to be a boom. It's odd, but I can feel it starting to happen, and it feels weird.

When it comes to a choice of being in love or being wealthy, I'll have to go for the first option. I miss it more than money.

Looking forward to moving at the end of school. It would be great to meet someone who wanted to share adventures with me and the kids, but I'm not counting on anyone filling that void.

Sunday Stuff

Watched an HBO documentary, Baghdad ER . I recommend it to anyone who has an interest in our involvement there.

Just back from helping my child care provider move furniture. Strangely enough, it's stored in my ex's garage, so we had to wait until she and her current boyfriend left.

I'm hearing odd stories about someone which doesn't make much sense for a supposedly independent person. Actually, not much I'm hearing or seeing makes much sense anymore, it's just confusing and sad.

I blame myself for much of what had led to this point. "Meaning well" is no substitute for action.

Hanging With Boy

Watching Boy for a few hours today. It's sunny but cold out, but we may just go for a walk for the heck of it in a while (if he ever takes a nap) or I might help my child care provider move some stuff. Sometimes that boy is so cute it makes me want to have another, but I don't know how I could do better. It just kills me that his mother and I couldn't stay together, because he needs both parents to be 100% there for him. Just kills me.

Later...

Almost finished one paper - just need to transfer it to a web site and good to go! Boy slept for a couple of hours, giving me much-needed quiet that allowed a lot of Internet research. I also did more research on archaeological photographic methods. I'm amazed there is still debate over traditional silver-halide based imaging vs. digital. I see no reason to stay in the past, especially with the recent quality jumps in pixellated options. I just about have all the lights and other equipment for archaeology location work. Still need the camera, though, which will be a challenge. It will be a race to see if I am able to buy and sell enough on eBay to back this venture. I'm thinking I would like to offer a communications package to clients - photographic imaging, satellite Internet service, and VOIP, all on site via sat dish and generators. I just about have it worked out...

Figuring Things Out

Three killer papers in three weeks - can it be done? Luckily the topics are actually interesting, so this may be easier than I make it to be. This weekend is going to be a writefest!

I've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan lately. I get a kick picking out the backgrounds and following them all the way through - the sixties and seventies were great for innovation. It's cool to hear the change from almost all acoustic to electric/acoustic as he gets more into the work. Gives me ideas, as they say.

The hand seems to be healing quickly. The knuckle is still swollen strangely, but I've gotten a lot more movement with my pinkie. There is a numbness in my hand and arm that is concerning. Every once in a while I get a tingle up and down - feels very strange.

I would like to go north for a day this weekend and explore around Orick, but I also would like to get the research finished on at least two papers, so we'll see. No kids, no other attachments. It's exhilarating and melancholy at the same time. I certainly miss the days exploring life with someone who is doing the same. I'm thinking I may just have to keep that desire locked up, and use it to foster creativity. I sure miss her, though...

Waiting for a Midterm

Strikingly clear today after a few days of rain and drizzle. A midterm, then a late afternoon class, and a three-day weekend ahead (not that there is anything special going on).

Boy in daycare, and with his Mom for the weekend. It's going to be very, very quiet...

later...

Well, that went so-so. Now it's time to do some rather boring reading and wonder why my email never gets answered by certain people... it's the scene in Dances With Wolves... "Why don't she write?"

Rain

For some reason today reminds me of the film Paint Your Wagon. Drizzly. Study for the rest of the day, Boy just went to sleep watching a movie, so it will be quiet until the Girl child gets home.

Cats all asleep, the kitten on my lap. I think she's going to be a long-haired adult. She's been terrorizing her mother for a couple of days now, and learning how to use a cat box. All the cats get along pretty well, but we'll see how things go when they're all cooped up inside all winter.

Kitten Likes Dry Food

Sometimes she falls asleep with her head in the bowl.

Narcoleptic?

Looking North

I love Eureka. It has everything I could ever want to support my kids and I, and the arts are superb. But... I've been driving up and looking at an area about an hour north that offers more of what I'm desiring. Being less in the path of progress, it should maintain some semblance of stability for the foreseeable future, but still be close enough to HSU to allow me to continue graduate school, should I so choose.

I won't make a move until I graduate, but I've been looking at the possibilities there, and I'm liking them more and more.

In other news, I couldn't stand the splint on my hand, so I've removed it. I had to try and see if I can still finger a fretboard, and I can, but with reservations. No strength in my pinkie, and my knuckle is, well, grotesque.

I want to start a bluegrass band. I had an inspiration the other night while I was trying to figure out what my purpose in life was to be. It came to me in a flash - music! I have played in a few bands when I was much younger, and have always loved bluegrass, especially California bluegrass. There should be some good mandolin, bass, dobro, banjo, and fiddle players around here somewhere. I have time to ferret them out while my hand heals.

Splendour in the Grass

One would think that, after a year gone by, things would sort themselves out. Life cannot be that simple, of course.

*

*

Though nothing can bring back the hour,
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind...

Between Classes

Coffee in the food court, using the free wireless! Just back from the Doc, and it looks like things are healing well. The splint was pressing directly against the break so it was adjusted. Next visit in 10 days, then a new splint and hand therapy. Could this be any more boring?

Nice rainy/sunny day, very warm storm. Settling into fall.

Kitten on the Keys

The kitten is getting big, fast. She started nibbling at the dry cat food and drinking out of the water bowl today.

Maybe it's time to name her?

In other news, the semester is flying by. Presenting the proposed topic for my senior paper tomorrow. One semester left, and I'm looking forward to getting on with my life.

Thanksgiving Coming Up

I have never really cared for Halloween, so I think I'll skip it this year. Maybe take the kids out for a little tour, and that's it.

Thanksgiving I'm taking at least one of the kids to LA to be with our family. This is going to be a much different holiday from last year. Some things can't be helped.

Going to get some Fall foliage images during the next couple of weeks. I like using the new camera.

What A Day

I'm supposed to be helping my day-care provider move into her new place, but instead I'm reading for a class and doing some art research on the Internet. Stunningly beautiful weather. Listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtracks. Hand is throbbing.

I never realized how women have taken over art museum staffing in the US. So much for their protected underdog status in the arts - I'm going to publish my findings and become hated in the art world by NewLibs everywhere. Should be fun.

I Want To Go Camping

The tourists are gone. It would be a great time to just hike through the quiet glades with someone nice. Cook over the fire, take some pics, look at the stars.

Yup, It's Broke

Fifth metacarpal - seeing a surgeon tomorrow. I wonder how this will affect playing the guitar?

Oh, yeah, it hurts a little.

UPDATE:

After seeing the orthopaedic (his spelling) surgeon, we decided to take a wait-and-see attitude. He splinted the hand and pressed the break together to set it. He kept asking if I wanted a shot first, as it was going to be painful. I declined, and when he was setting the fracture I didn't know whether to pass out, throw up, or both. Took another x-ray, and said that he would check it in a week. If it doesn't go back together on its own, then it will be surgery with screws and a plate. There will also be a few weeks of therapy involved if I want full range use of my hand again. Man, this is not good news.

Interesting note - while looking at the film, he commented on an old wrist break. I remembered injuring it in a horse wreck when I was a kid, but my parents thought I was just being a whiner when I told them I thought I had broken it. VINDICATED!

The University

Sometimes I forget the reason I moved to the North Coast - Humboldt State University. Check this.

Through all the trials of the past three years, I am amazed I have been able to keep focus on finishing my education. This school has been good to me - I have made a lot of friends with both students and faculty. Of course, most students think I am faculty because of my age. That has led to some quiet laughter on my part.

I'm thinking about continuing into graduate school, but I don't know if that will be possible at this campus. The University is undergoing some radical changes in attracting new students and keeping the ones already here, so perhaps they will see the light and open more graduate programs up.

Everyone Has Their Ideals

Taking a study break.

For twenty years I have thought about what my ideal living situation would be so far, it's this:

• Rural setting
• 5 acres: 3 pasture, 1 wooded, 1 pond
• Year-round running stream
• Concrete/adobe enviro-house

I've been looking in this area since first arriving, and have found multiple locations that would work. I've also noticed land prices stabilizing, and, in some cases dropping. I figure in another couple of years the time to strike will be right. That should coincide with the timing of business starting to grow. I think this area is going to remain one of the nicest on the west coast, if not in the world. I can't imagine living somewhere else.

October is My Favorite Month

Went out to the North Jetty again. Bigger waves, so studying was kind of set to the side while watching them break on the rocks.

Stopped to check out the Coast Guard station on the way back. I'd like to be able to take a tour through to see if the interior is as interesting as the exterior.

I wonder why more films aren't shot around here?

Too Much Static

Too many problems, too few solutions makes life unbearable. I've been spending waaay too much time doing schoolwork and dealing with the brutal necessities. There has been a lot on my plate as of late, and I'm starting to fall behind as I mull over which way to go now. I need a break of sorts - I haven't been out of this county in almost two years - I'm going nuts.

Just made a call, and a friend and I are going to go see the sights, then study for an hour or so (same class). I'd like to get some pics while I'm out.

Now It's Girl's Birthday

The oldest child is a teenager in two days. This evening we're going to see Flicka, which I am hoping she'll like, as she is into riding. The reviews have been split, with the critics generally disliking the film, while the viewers give high marks.

I can't believe she will be a teen. I remember well that warm October day when she plopped into my arms. Incredible.

Kitten is Doing Great!

Boober and her baby have been active. The baby keeps hopping out of the armoire, and once today I found her in the laundry basket - Boober must have dropped her in to keep her from escaping!

It's quite amusing to open the door and see both faces peering out - I think I may have to keep these two together - don't know if I can part with the kitten.

It Is Done

Since I cut my own hair, and have done so for the past 30 years, I thought I might give it a try on Boy. I left it a little long in case his Mother wants to do some trimming of your own. He sat pretty still, all things considered, and we were done in about 3 minutes.

I guess you can form your own conclusions...

Fun Birthday

The original plan was to take Boy out for his official Two-Year-Old Haircut, but I had forgotten that virtually all barbers are closed Mondays! No big, we then went shopping and picked out toys and the remastered DVD of Bambi. Played with said toys and watched the film, which was really sweet, had dinner, and played some more. He was asleep by 8PM, and I had a nice evening reading Weston's Daybook II.

Haircut on Wednesday, even if I have to do it myself!

Time To Rejoice

Just after midnight, two years ago, I received the most wonderful gift. He was very warm and wet, and came into the world blinking and looking around the darkened room, raising his head to get a better view.

In those two years he has grown into a little boy who is more than I could have ever hoped for, someone who amazes me more every time I see him. I never thought I could love someone other than his mother so very much.

Alex, thank you for such a beautiful boy. He is more than I could ever imagine a son could be.

James, you are loved by everyone who knows you. Today we will think of things that make us happy, and play until you fall fast asleep.

Your Daddy loves you with all his heart. Happy Birthday!

The North Jetty

We decided to check out the North Jetty of Humboldt Bay. Overcast but nice day, I've never seen the water so smooth! There was so much life out - birds, people, sea lions, starfish, fish - everything you could imagine.

It did cause me to reminisce about an earlier time, and I don't know how good of company I was. I tend to get a little introverted and reflective on certain subjects.

Sigh.

Now that I'm back, I should devote the rest of the day to finishing working with the books and organizing the business. I think I'll cheat and watch a little of "Deadwood" as well. I'm about half-way into the second season.

Just started raining. Good day for watching a film...

Rain, Of Course

So much for the big plans for an outing. Instead, I think it time to devote a day to planning business strategy for the next six months. There are still a lot of loose ends to be tied up, and, while I detest paperwork as much as the next person, I can see it waving to me from here.

On to it. Where's that Joni Mitchell CD?

Deja-Vu-To-You

Ever meet someone and get the feeling you've met somewhere before; not just briefly, but for something longer? Having one of those strange feelings - I think it's a good thing, but I can't tell for sure (can we ever).

School is starting to focus down to the second half of the semester, and I hope I'm caught up enough. Extracurricular activities are starting to take their toll, but not necessarily in a bad way. Have some things planned for the next couple of days, maybe a trip or two into the nether regions of Humboldt County. Heh.

Have a great weekend!

A Foggy Day of Boy

When your child-care provider goes AWOL, and backup is out-of-town, there is only one solution. We've been watching "Paint Your Wagon' while I try to get caught up on the latest assigned readings for classes.

Very foggy day, with the fog sometimes breaking to let just a patch of bright sunlight through. The hills must be spectacular with fall color and light. I wonder if the smoke from the fires has subsided somewhat.

End of an Era

Letting go the things I love or care for has never been easy for me, so when I finally make that happen (or it takes place not by my volition) I remember the day. I will remember this day.

Too many new changes force me to let go those things I have held for far too long. The past year has been one that I could not have forseen in my craziest dreams. I will miss many people and places, but there are just as many to be discovered, and that journey never ends.

Everyone deserves happiness.

Humboldt Bay National Wildlife Refuge Complex

Took a short 10 minute drive to one of the better places to birdwatch in Northern California. I'll fill this out later, but suffice to say we saw some fall flora and fauna.

Walking through the building Complex itself, we picked up some of the newly-minted brochures. The trail was just under two miles, and the weather was perfect, so we took our time and in doing that got to see a lot of the small creatures that inhabit the area.

Last Night

Eureka was looking pretty good last evening, although the turnout was less than I've seen on past Arts Alive evenings. The first thing we saw, of course, was a family of raccoons at a street corner a block from the Morris Graves. The mother and her three kits were on safari, looking for whatever they could scrounge up. We could get within 5 or 6 feet of them, and they would chirp at us, totally unafraid. We stayed close until we saw them cross the street and disappear in a yard dense with foliage. Hopefully they were able to stay away from street traffic.

The Morris Graves was, well, quite familiar. The shows were basically the same as this time last year - same show, different art. It was good seeing a lot of familiar faces - talked to some old friends.

We then cruised down to First Street Gallery, which is owned and operated by the University. Whimsical sculpture and eco-indigenous paintings were the topic there. Again, not nearly as busy as in past openings.

After a couple of drinks, we just cruised around the rest of the evening, enjoying talking about, well, art-related topics. Imagine that.

Super-Nice Fall Day

Boy and I are watching "Shrek" while I cook a pork chop casserole for an early dinner. After his mother takes him later this evening, I'm going out, the first time in, well, forever. It's Arts Alive in Eureka, so every gallery and art-related shop in town will be happening!

Last night was the Harvest Moon. October is shaping up to be a great month.

Mother and Baby, Doing Fine

Sometimes I realize that maybe it's better to just let life go on in the way it was meant to be.

I Wish My Ex's Lived In Texas

...and my kids lived with me.

And Then...

A kind voice, a look, a soft touch, a smile... magic happens when least expected...

Long Night Last

For whatever reason, Boober keeps hopping into bet with her baby firmly clenched in her teeth, and drops it on me. I guess she wants me to watch it for a while while she goes off and eats, walks around, etc. She always comes back after a few minutes and takes over, but it's a little unnerving with such a small baby next to me - its eyes aren't even open yet. I'm afraid I'm going to roll over on it, so I don't get much sleep.

I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Maybe it's fall, but I'm feeling wistful about the past. Sometimes I miss my old life to the point where it actually hurts inside. Transition is, well, rough.

Kitten is Getting Bigger

Boober just woke me by dropping her baby on my chest. Quite the odd experience! I stroked it with my finger until it fell asleep, with Boober sitting next to me, purring. I'm not quite sure what the meaning of all that was, but I think Boober is getting kind of lonely in the armoire and wanted to move operations to my bed. I set kitten back on the original kitty bed, and Boober jumped in. I'll see when I go back if she decided to stay or not.

That baby sure is cute...

Dropping down into the coastal valleys, the sun set over the Pacific in waves and tremors. I think I need to start getting out more - there is so much to see and so little time.

After climbing out of the river the road skirted the high pasture areas in the back of Redwood National Park. Standing along a ridgeline was a magnificent herd of Roosevelt elk, native to this area. Being fall, the bull was bugling his prowess across the hills, warning away any others from his harem of cows.

It was cool.

Full Day

Traveled a lot of miles today. Did some work on the Yurok reservation, and took the back way back home, passing over the Klamath and into the deep, dark, woods. Climbing a hill on a rutted gravel road, I came across an unusual sight - a vehicle in the trees, totally burned, and the woods around on fire. Of course, no one wants to think the worst, so I pulled over to check it out.

In the trees I could hear a chain saw, and then noticed a guy scooping dirt up with what looked like a metal BBQ half. I grabbed the other half that was lying in the road, and together we kept throwing dirt and rocks on the burning brush and trees while his buddy cut down a lot of the undergrowth which was just starting to catch. About this time the driver, a young lad, came out of the woods and tried to explain that his vehicle had caught fire while he was driving and somehow, after he got out and looked under the hood at the burning engine, rolled off the road and into the woods, bursting into flames. Whatever.

About this time the Yurok Res Cops pulled up and got out their fire extinguisher, which didn't do much. I left after talking with them, as they told me a pumper was on its way. I passed it about two more miles up the hill.

New Life

Boober started acting different about 7:45 last evening. She kept jumping in my lap, looking into my eyes, and crying a high-pitched little cry. I thought it might be time for her to have babies, so I took her to the spot I had made for her in the amoire. After jumping in and out a few dozen times, she finally curled up and started purring like crazy. I petted her as she got closer, and popped the sac of the first baby around 10PM when it wouldn't break by itself. I went to sleep about midnight, and thought she had had only one kitten, but when I changed her bedding this morning I found a tiny, crumpled body beneath her. I couldn't tell if the baby had been stillborn, but it looked quite forlorn and small. I buried it beside Goober.

Mother and baby doing fine.

It was so warm today...

That anyone with some sense took a siesta.

Organization

Why is it that everything has to happen at once? Actually, in this case it's a good thing. Business projects are solidifying, and school is ramping up for midterms just at a time when I can deal with it.

Boy has been hilarious lately. I somewhat pity the girls when he is 16 or so - they won't stand a chance. Hee-hee-hee...

His sister is turning out to be strong-minded in her own way. She would make an excellent attorney, unfortunately. The world has more than enough of those idiots, so she may hopefully end up working at something else that takes a lot of persistance and drive. She has plenty of both.

Looking forward to the end of the week in order to get some things finished.

An Afternoon at the Park

Took Boy and the Girl to Sequoia Park playground for some R&R. The road was open, the first time since the big winds took down lots of trees January 1. Boy got to play on the "Big Kids" playground equipment while his sister and I had a few laughs watching him navigate. It was pretty swell. I wish his Mom were there to see it.

My Outside Office

I think I'm going to be liking this phase of work.

Another Day Out

Perfect day. Working tomorrow as well.

Working Outside

Spent the day working outside in the cool, clean air. The site was in the mountains above town, and the Fall colors are really starting to kick in, and are at school as well. The days have that feeling of hard weather ahead, but for now it's the best time of the year, in my opinion.

Boy has been quite funny. He's with his Mom for a few days; I can hardly wait to see him again. In the meantime, my daughter and I have plans to do some good stuff. Yeah, things could be worse. I am grateful.

It's All Running!

Fuel pump is running sure and silent. Now to start repairing the little things.

Someone is cruising up our street at various times and smashing things like car windows, turn signals, and the like. Broke out the back window on my neighbor's truck, smashed the turn signal light on the other neighbor's car. Slashed about 20 tires a few months ago.

What do people like that think as they commit these acts?

Trapped

Nothing can be easy. Need a part to complete my repair. Ford dealer only. Two days. $62.00.

Give me a break already.

Looks like I'll be bumming rides for a couple of days.

Other than that, it's all good!

Master Mechanic

Put off replacing the mid-tank fuel pump in La Bamba for, well, years. Finally got everything together to make the repair, and dug in. Firstly, the tank I had thought was siphoned dry was completely full. Did someone fill it at some point and not realize it was inoperable? Sucker weighed a ton taking it down.

Got it off, siphoned fuel into my truck and the ex's vehicle, took off the old pump. The inside of the tank was really clean. For some reason I was expecting all sorts of sludge and such, but it looked like new. Washed down the tank.

Put on the new pump, easy-peasy, and started to place it back into position. Started fastening the hoses, things are great, and a small, blue part drops on my chest. Pulled off the tank again, and noticed the ECV had broken off a leg. Of course, Ford is the only place to get that part, so everything is on hold until Monday.

Oh, BTW, you cannot drive the vehicle with the tank off. Oops.

Also, I think I must have the only Metric Ford pickup in the USA. Made in Canada.

I'm sore.

Life As A Greek Tragedy

If I have to push that boulder up that hill one more time I'm gonna...

It's not relay that bad. Seeing history repeat itself over and over is actually amusing. Doing things I did many years ago, but with different intent and motivation, is producing the results I desire. Committing to the goals, and only the goals, is Spartan but mentally (and sometimes physically) rewarding.

I'm liking life. A lot.

Dropped Boy off this morning, won't see him for a few days. This issue is the most perplexing I have at the moment. it's hard to be a part-time parent; in some ways harder than being a full-time one. Children change so much at his age that not being present to see it happening is, well, sad.

It's Just Too Cold

So much for the plans of traveling today - too drab and cold to want to take Boy out. Maybe tomorrow.

Same As Yesterday

Hoping for a break in the weather. Boy will be here this afternoon, and I would like to take he and his sister somewhere for an outdoor adventure - maybe the Redwood National Parks around Orick would be good. I want to check out the horse camps.

It would also be nice to get some pics with the new camera!

Foggy and Cold

Early Fall. Usally the sun has made its appearance by this time; it would appear that the weekend may be a portend.

No matter, have a fire going, watching "The Man Who Fell To Earth" with David Bowie. I hadn't seen it since it's film release in 1976. Crazy, yet humanist plot. Rip Torn has a great part. I didn't remember so much nudity, but, hey, I was 21.

Reading and writing the rest of the weekend. It's nice and quiet.

The Ex Just Moved to Her New Place

She's pretty excited, but also nervous. She found a great place with some other people, and it's truly a beautiful home, just a few blocks away.

I hope she is happy there. It's been nice having her visit for a couple of months.

School

Thursdays are the long day of the week for me. Class runs from 8-7, with a couple of hours of free time in the middle... which actually works out great, as I can get a jump on the reading for the next week. Not going to be able to work outside of school Thursdays, though. I'm thinking that will be fine, as I can still work on virtually every other day if I wish.

I sure didn't like seeing Boy go this morning. Waiting 3 days to see him again is a little rough. He's always so happy, though, that I can't help but feel that things will work out.

Time to read...

Ready for Traveling

After too many years of wishing, I found the perfect camper shell for the pickup, five houses away! My neighbor was selling his shell for a price that was too good to pass up, so I didn't and now it rests comfortably on my pickup. I couldn't believe how close the color match was, and the shell fits perfectly - everything works, locks tight, and it's time for a road trip.

I am so looking forward to going to Portland in September. I'm thinking on the way back I may take the coast route and camp for a day or two if the weather holds. It sure feels like an early Fall.

He Likes Bread Pudding, Too!

Boy Likes His Pasta

New Camera

I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed a camera for work, so invested in a Canon SD600, a nice little point and shoot. Now I can start posting images of Boy, Elizabeth, whatever catches my fancy!

School is great. Mega-reading/writing, and I love every bit of it.

First Day of Class

School is starting out well. Classes are situated within 2 buildings, almost all dovetail right into the other, and the topics are great. I'm upgrading one class from lower to upper division. More reading/writing, greater depth. I would like my upper-division classes to count for something more.

I think I'll wait another day or so to get my books. The student store is a mess.

Kids

Elizabeth is surely driving me insane. I have never met a kid who is so intensely driven and obdurate. She has to be from demon spawn, placed at my door by malevolent archangels.

OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but she can test the patience of a saint. I hope she grows out of this before much longer. How can it be that her brother is the virtual opposite personality?

In other news, it appears I will be coming out of retirement and re-joining the cavalry. My former unit commander has asked me to work with him in forming a new unit, and I am rather excited about the possibilities. I've been wanting to ride with troopers for a while now, and I do believe much of the old unit will be re-forming along with me. Hurrah!

Waiting for School to Start

Getting a little antsy. Classes are picked, funding is there, just counting down the minutes until I have my schedule filled with classes and then work.

Looking forward to traveling to Portland to take the certification class. It's been a while since I've been up that way, and I've always liked the drive and city. I wouldn't mind staying a couple of extra days to just drive around, but we'll see about that.

Boy is taking his afternoon nap, Elizabeth is out shopping with her mother, so it's pretty quiet here. Overcast and chilly. I am looking forward to the end of the month when Adair moves to her new place. It's been a little difficult accommodating her eccentricities.

Just a few more days...

Fifty-One

Waking in the middle of the night in an empty house the first time in a long time. It feels good. I decided that, since I have all this freedom, it should be exercised. Flipped up the computer monitor to experiment with the new OS for a while - adding 2 GB of RAM makes Vista fly like a dove - fast but still a little erratic. Solitaire with JJ Cale in the background - the easy life.

I kind of wish I hadn't been so hasty in erasing my old blog. There were some thoughts on there that were worth reminiscing. Of course, there was also a lot I would prefer to forget about so maybe life evens out after all.

Half a century. Seems like a long time on the one hand, but on the other I sense new adventures that will supersede all but my children. It's odd having their mothers both within a few blocks of me - like being a cult leader without the sex. It's also interesting to see how their lives are evolving.While I am getting stronger by the day, they both seem sad and distant in their struggles. I would feel more pity but I sense higher forces at work here, an entity that is both unforgiving and loving at the same time. He has certainly been generous to me the past couple of months, and I am most grateful. The new business is going ahead without too any obstacles, and there is money in the bank. Everyone is healthy, school starts soon, and my classes are going to be great.

Elizabeth and her mother will be back in a few days, and, save for having Boy with me tomorrow, I will have an open slate to draw on. This is a good thing, because I have a lot to prepare for.

I have truly been blessed. Bob Dylan has released me.

Frustrating

Backing off certification until the 14th of Sept. in Portland. The second choice was just a little too sketchy.

Going to have a few days all to myself, something that very rarely happens. House will be empty until Sunday, and I am so looking forward to some peace and quiet in order to study. Finalized class registration and am excited about the class lineup this semester. Sometimes I can't believe I am sticking through with the original plan, sort of. Adding a second major seems like the right thing to do - in fact, I would consider a Masters in History as a priority.

Boy is asleep, and I'm reflecting on how much I miss him when he's gone. It always seems like it will be grand to have time off from being a Dad, but the reality is those kids complete my life.

Changing Things Around

After talking with a local rep involved with the business I'm getting into, I've decided to push back the certification class in order to take it in Sacramento on the 9th. This would also let me pick up my horse (finally - YEA!) The class is also free, for some strange reason.

Funny how things work out.

Lots of Time with Boy

Since my son's mother has decided to be a bartender in the sleazy bar she hangs out at, she has asked me to watch our son while she works. I can't believe someone could sacrifice their time with their child just to hang out at a bar, but I guess it's all about priorities. OK, rant off. She just annoys me.

Anyway, he and I will have fun today. We'll go look at the sheep and pigs just behind the house at the High School FFA pens. He's still a little afraid of them, but he likes to call them from our deck, which is above and 50 yards away. Maybe we'll go to the beach, too!

Things Happen

Ok, so I'm going a different direction than I thought I would be. While applying for a job I performed some due diligence and learned more about the parent company. Wow!

This coming week is going to be filled with a trip to LA for class and certification, and purchasing the tools I will need. I haven't been this excited about an opportunity for a very long while.

And it's about time.

School starts in a few weeks, the kids are doing well, and hopefully the ex will find a place to live soon. Life goes on.

Blasé

Today the clouds finally parted to show an azure sky and temps into the 70's! Oops, now that I type this the fog is rolling back in. Should have gone to the beach this morning..

Putting Together Space

New studio. August or early September. This is going to be great...

A Week To Recover

OK, so the last job was horrible. I learned something about corporate politics - don't bother to get involved with them. Their way or the highway seems to be the best approach. I have been cursed in working too many years with creative people doing interesting work.

The only way I'm going to survive and be happy is to create my own niche here. I have most of the tools ready, and have been re-familiarizing myself with them. The years of not working within my chosen profession has given me a more realistic perspective of what the toil involves, and what the expected result will be.

I am ready.

Staying Put

After speaking with my landlord, and also after an unsuccessful search for a new location, it looks like we will be staying where we are. I'm not finding a living situation better than the one I'm in, and I like it here just fine.

What a relief.

Took Some Time

After what I thought were four great years with a woman I loved, it all came to an abrupt halt when she decided to let her fears, friends, and family rule her life. It would have been nice to have been better aware of this before we created a wonderful baby boy, but I have accepted her decisions and have been moving on to something better for myself. I have concerns about my son and her chosen lifestyle, but we shall see.

Anyway, it's all for the best. Other doors are opening.

Things are starting to straighten out. I'm finding a new place to live and bringing my horse up to enjoy. Work is getting better, school in the Fall will be interesting, and the kids are always great. Once I get moved, it will be time to stretch myself a little more. I'm anticipating starting a photographic studio again - this will be a major turn-around in my life.

I am so very excited!

Starting Again

It's like being a recovering alcoholic, the need to record my thoughts.

This has been a most difficult period of my life, a time that brought great joy, and then grief that comes from seeing the life I thought we were building on a solid foundation evaporate into ether.

There is enough blame to go around. The die is cast, the results unmitigated. Hope for putting the puzzle back together erodes daily with each new revelation. It's just the way it is going to be.

With that knowledge comes a certain satisfaction of dusting the room and closing the door for the last time. Moving on to a new growth experience.