Friday, August 11, 2006

Fifty-One

Waking in the middle of the night in an empty house the first time in a long time. It feels good. I decided that, since I have all this freedom, it should be exercised. Flipped up the computer monitor to experiment with the new OS for a while - adding 2 GB of RAM makes Vista fly like a dove - fast but still a little erratic. Solitaire with JJ Cale in the background - the easy life.
I kind of wish I hadn't been so hasty in erasing my old blog. There were some thoughts on there that were worth reminiscing. Of course, there was also a lot I would prefer to forget about so maybe life evens out after all.
Half a century. Seems like a long time on the one hand, but on the other I sense new adventures that will supersede all but my children. It's odd having their mothers both within a few blocks of me - like being a cult leader without the sex. It's also interesting to see how their lives are evolving.While I am getting stronger by the day, they both seem sad and distant in their struggles. I would feel more pity but I sense higher forces at work here, an entity that is both unforgiving and loving at the same time. He has certainly been generous to me the past couple of months, and I am most grateful. The new business is going ahead without too any obstacles, and there is money in the bank. Everyone is healthy, school starts soon, and my classes are going to be great.
Elizabeth and her mother will be back in a few days, and, save for having Boy with me tomorrow, I will have an open slate to draw on. This is a good thing, because I have a lot to prepare for.
I have truly been blessed. Bob Dylan has released me.

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