A Long Break

It's been quite a while since I've posted here. Winter break went by quickly, with no prospect of work. Guess what - employers don't hire during the Holidays! Duh.

Nevertheless, I'm still looking about for employment. I've got my horse on the market, and maybe with some of that income I can buy the camera equipment I need to start a photo business. Selling Doc has been an agonizing decision, but I'm just not able to maintain his board, and I can't seem to find the means to get him up here, and pasture to put him in. I hope a nice girl gets him as her pet. He is the best horse I have ever been around. This is killing me.

Christmas Rush

It came and went. Quietest Christmas I've had in a long, long time. I think Alex had a quiet one as well. Rather sad for all of us, I would think.

I hope the New Year brings happiness to us all.

My Son's New Show-and-Tell

A few days ago, Boy took his little fire hydrant, a toy from his firetruck, and pretended it was a lighter. he went around "lighting" imaginary cigarettes, making the strike sounds and everything. Today I watched him put a pencil in his mouth and take a nice, long, drag from it, holding it just like a cigarette.

I hope his mother is proud.

Well, It's All Over

All but the crying, anyway. I felt this calm take over yesterday after the last final, but now it's back to stressing out over finding a job. The idea of plain, dumb work sounds so good right now, I can't even imagine not having to read chapters every night and trying to decipher what they mean.

Very Quiet: Too Quiet, In Fact

Johann Agustus Sutter

Although an empty house is great for getting my work done, it's also pretty sad. I miss kid's voices and action. I miss having someone to love.

BTW, I'm writing about an old friend, John A. Sutter. The more I read of his exploits, the more I appreciate him as a flawed but basically honest, God-fearing man. We could use a few more of these characters in today's world.

I *Guess* This is Right...

You are The Sun

Happiness, Content, Joy.

The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.

Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.

The Sun is ruled by the Sun, of course. This is the light that comes after the long dark night, Apollo to the Moon's Diana. A positive card, it promises you your day in the sun. Glory, gain, triumph, pleasure, truth, success. As the moon symbolized inspiration from the unconscious, from dreams, this card symbolizes discoveries made fully consciousness and wide awake. You have an understanding and enjoyment of science and math, beautifully constructed music, carefully reasoned philosophy. It is a card of intellect, clarity of mind, and feelings of youthful energy.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Second Presentation Finished

A little smoother than the first, only because I used my PC for it. Scaling the sizes of the images to the projector resolution was fun to do at the last minute, but, hey, it's done! Hard to tell how I compared to the rest of my class, but my notated script was promising. Still have some work to do for the final paper, plus start TWO others due next week. One more final on Thursday.

I'm so ready for this to be over...

www.cdarchives.net/venice

First Presentation Done

Relieved, but embarrassed. We were going to use my laptop as the presentation device, but for the sake of time switched to the school Mac. Big mistake. The resolution was off, and the pages were way too large for the screen. Oops.

Subject matter was good, though, so maybe things will work out in the end. Two more presentations to go, plus two term papers, plus two finals. I will be so very happy to see school out for the semester. I hope I can finish the year and survive.

www.cdarchives.net/art316

Things Are Happening

I can just feel it. Something is up, my antennae are twitching, but I can't find the source. It feels kind of cool, though, so something not bad.

Finishing some papers, starting some others, and hoping to glide out of this semester with a shred of dignity still attached. What a rough mofo...

To the Stretch

Reading Sir Thomas More's "Utopia" as part of a comparison reading/writing assignment. The cats and I have had an uneventful weekend - it started raining hard about an hour ago, so we're just warming up inside. The coming week is going to be a killer interms of school.

Looking forward to the kids getting back soon!

My life sure is boring...

Chugging Along

This paper is taking forever to research. I'm just finishing up with the images, much less putting them online and typing my presentation.

Today I registered for next semester - my last! I may take more classes next year for a second major, but for now I'll be happy to be free to work.

Alone

The kids are with family, and I'm alone but for the cats and a room full of rats. Thanksgiving for the past 15 years has been a remembrance of a tragic event, one that I need not go into here. This year will be so much different than the last - a home full of happy voices and family - that it is good I have so much work to do to keep me occupied.

I Think the Kitten is Going To Stay Small

Her mother is a tiny cat, I think half Siamese. The kitten shows every indication that she, too will stay small. She sure is feisty, though - courage of a little lion. I don't think she will have much trouble survivng around here.

It's going to be just Boy and I this week. My daughter is going south to be with relatives, and I've got a couple of papers to write, still. The ideas are there, but the execution is still developing. I hope I can work with Boy here.

Trying to Study While Watching Boy

It's virtually impossible. I will sure be happy when Melanie is back in business

He's been eating and watching movies. What he really needs is to go outside, but it's getting pretty cold and looks like rain, so he's running around inside like a little bat. I'm thinking he's going to be ready for a nap any minute.

Fast-forward 4 hours.

He just went down for his nap. Now maybe I can actually get some things done. I miss having childcare...

What Is A Person's Value?

What is it that makes a person whole? I think about this a lot when with my kids. There have been times when I've been less than 100% for my daughter, and, realizing that, I'm making restitution with the time I spend with her. She's at an age where she's reacting to every outside influence, and wants to get feedback on everything, which I do my best to give. Boy just wants to play and be loved, so he's easy.

It's been difficult providing for them while I've been in school, and I've had a lot of missteps. I've had help from my family, my ex and I both worked, and now the ventures I've enacted are starting to pay off. Hopefully we will be at least semi-comfortable by the time I graduate. The last ten years financially have been a bust - with further education and change in lifestyle, I am looking for the next ten to be a boom. It's odd, but I can feel it starting to happen, and it feels weird.

When it comes to a choice of being in love or being wealthy, I'll have to go for the first option. I miss it more than money.

Looking forward to moving at the end of school. It would be great to meet someone who wanted to share adventures with me and the kids, but I'm not counting on anyone filling that void.

Sunday Stuff

Watched an HBO documentary, Baghdad ER . I recommend it to anyone who has an interest in our involvement there.

Just back from helping my child care provider move furniture. Strangely enough, it's stored in my ex's garage, so we had to wait until she and her current boyfriend left.

I'm hearing odd stories about someone which doesn't make much sense for a supposedly independent person. Actually, not much I'm hearing or seeing makes much sense anymore, it's just confusing and sad.

I blame myself for much of what had led to this point. "Meaning well" is no substitute for action.

Hanging With Boy

Watching Boy for a few hours today. It's sunny but cold out, but we may just go for a walk for the heck of it in a while (if he ever takes a nap) or I might help my child care provider move some stuff. Sometimes that boy is so cute it makes me want to have another, but I don't know how I could do better. It just kills me that his mother and I couldn't stay together, because he needs both parents to be 100% there for him. Just kills me.

Later...

Almost finished one paper - just need to transfer it to a web site and good to go! Boy slept for a couple of hours, giving me much-needed quiet that allowed a lot of Internet research. I also did more research on archaeological photographic methods. I'm amazed there is still debate over traditional silver-halide based imaging vs. digital. I see no reason to stay in the past, especially with the recent quality jumps in pixellated options. I just about have all the lights and other equipment for archaeology location work. Still need the camera, though, which will be a challenge. It will be a race to see if I am able to buy and sell enough on eBay to back this venture. I'm thinking I would like to offer a communications package to clients - photographic imaging, satellite Internet service, and VOIP, all on site via sat dish and generators. I just about have it worked out...

Figuring Things Out

Three killer papers in three weeks - can it be done? Luckily the topics are actually interesting, so this may be easier than I make it to be. This weekend is going to be a writefest!

I've been listening to a lot of Bob Dylan lately. I get a kick picking out the backgrounds and following them all the way through - the sixties and seventies were great for innovation. It's cool to hear the change from almost all acoustic to electric/acoustic as he gets more into the work. Gives me ideas, as they say.

The hand seems to be healing quickly. The knuckle is still swollen strangely, but I've gotten a lot more movement with my pinkie. There is a numbness in my hand and arm that is concerning. Every once in a while I get a tingle up and down - feels very strange.

I would like to go north for a day this weekend and explore around Orick, but I also would like to get the research finished on at least two papers, so we'll see. No kids, no other attachments. It's exhilarating and melancholy at the same time. I certainly miss the days exploring life with someone who is doing the same. I'm thinking I may just have to keep that desire locked up, and use it to foster creativity. I sure miss her, though...

Waiting for a Midterm

Strikingly clear today after a few days of rain and drizzle. A midterm, then a late afternoon class, and a three-day weekend ahead (not that there is anything special going on).

Boy in daycare, and with his Mom for the weekend. It's going to be very, very quiet...

later...

Well, that went so-so. Now it's time to do some rather boring reading and wonder why my email never gets answered by certain people... it's the scene in Dances With Wolves... "Why don't she write?"

Rain

For some reason today reminds me of the film Paint Your Wagon. Drizzly. Study for the rest of the day, Boy just went to sleep watching a movie, so it will be quiet until the Girl child gets home.

Cats all asleep, the kitten on my lap. I think she's going to be a long-haired adult. She's been terrorizing her mother for a couple of days now, and learning how to use a cat box. All the cats get along pretty well, but we'll see how things go when they're all cooped up inside all winter.